Therapy in Punjabi or in English: does the language matter?

Why the language of a session is not a logistics question

A common experience among bilingual adults: you can describe your childhood fluently in English and only feel it in Punjabi. This is not mysterious. Memory and emotion keep the language they were encoded in, and a feeling reached through its original words often arrives with more of itself attached.

The reverse is equally real and equally useful. Some things are hard to say precisely because the first language holds them too close — the word carries the whole weight of home, and the English equivalent is the only version light enough to lift. People who switch to English at the hardest moment of a story are usually not avoiding the work; they are regulating, and a counsellor who understands both languages can notice the switch itself as information.

This is why the comparison in the table dissolves, in practice, into a third option: a session that moves. A sentence that starts in English and lands on the one Punjabi word that is actually true. An account of a conversation with a parent given in the words the parent used. That movement is not a compromise between the two columns — it is the version with the most information in it, and it is only possible when the counsellor does not need the Punjabi translated.

Scroll the diagram sideways to see all of it.

The considerations that actually decide it

• Where the material lives — Work stress, workplace conflict and burnout often live comfortably in English. Family, marriage, childhood and grief usually have deep roots in the first language. Many people want different languages for different sessions, which is allowed.
• Whose voice you need to quote — Therapy about family involves reporting what people said. If your mother speaks in Punjabi, an English-only session makes you the translator of your own evidence — and something reliably goes missing in that translation.
• Community and privacy — The set of Punjabi-speaking counsellors in BC is small, and some people hesitate to bring family material to someone who might stand two degrees from that family. It is a legitimate concern; a virtual practice serving the whole province widens the distance, and it is a fair question to ask any practice directly.
• What is actually available where you live — Punjabi-speaking counsellors with offices cluster in Surrey, Abbotsford and Vancouver. For most of the rest of BC, virtual sessions are not one option among several — they are how therapy in Punjabi exists at all.

Scroll the diagram sideways to see all of it.

If Punjabi is your parents’ language more than yours

A large group sits between the columns: people who understand Punjabi completely, speak it at family gatherings, and would struggle to conduct an hour of therapy in it. If that is you, nothing on this page is a test to pass. English-led sessions with the freedom to drop into Punjabi where the Punjabi is load-bearing — a phrase of your father’s, a word that has no equivalent, the thing your grandmother always said — tend to fit exactly this experience.

It is also worth saying that therapy about intergenerational and cultural material does not require a counsellor from the same background — but it goes noticeably faster when the concepts do not need a glossary. ਇੱਜ਼ਤ explained is a paragraph; ਇੱਜ਼ਤ understood is one word.